I HATE My Car

This is my dream car, not because it's old and worth a fortune, but because I can safely assume that it has no COMPUTER under it's hood!
First off let me say since I started the Change I've become a forgetful Ditz who never apparently looks at the back of her car. Or more importantly at my car's license plates. At least that's the impression I got from the nice Police Officer who stopped me and politely informed me that my licence plates had expired in February. Gulp, with a $75.00 ticket in my hand I proceeded to try and rectify this.
Over the years I have driven some old heaps for cars. In the early years of our marriage I can remember a few trips to junk yards for engine parts and a few cars held together with duck tape and twine. But those years have not been around for awhile. Now I have nice cars with computers. Unfortunately computers and myself have problems getting along together. My car works purrfectly except that occasionally the computer goes haywire and kicks the engine light on. Nothings wrong with it and it goes off after a few months. The mechanics say I could put a new computer in it, but that is very expensive and since everything works, I just drive it and ignore the red engine light. This truce between me and my car's computer has been pretty amicable for the past year. Except apparently you can't pass the Missouri Emissions Test and re-license your car when the engine light is on in your car. You see during the inspection when they hook up their computer to my computer in the car, my computer apparently tells it "This women is a ditz and I won't work for her, I'm on strike!" Our mechanic reset the computer which turned off the engine light and apparently the 5 monitors that the Emissions computer needs to hook up with to pass the test. They sent me home last Friday telling me I need to drive my car about 100 to 200 miles to get the monitors to restart, but be sure I don't drive to much so the engine light won't come back on again. Baffled I obediently drove the car 200 miles over the weekend, trying to avoid anymore polite Police Officers, hoping if I met another my storey would make some sense and I wouldn't get another ticket. Long story short, back to the shop today. Only half of the monitors have turned on so I'm back to driving again, trying to figure when it's enough to kick in the other monitors but not enough to kick on the engine light.
As I said before --- I HATE COMPUTERS, I want a Model T